Leash Laws
by BoxerMan
Summary: Willow, sorry I fell asleep and lost your boyfriend, but don't worry, I caught him in time before he ate someone."


Leash Laws

An AU that could've happened early season 3. Its pre-fluking, just incase you were wondering about the W/X dialogue. And I added some to the conversation.

Main Characters: Xander and Oz, although one is asleep for most of the story.

A/N: Sorry its been so long since I posted anything, but between car accidents, hurricanes and finals, its not been very conductive to writing.

----------

Willow smiled as she looked up from her book. Oz was content fully asleep in his wolf-form, or as Xander called it, his 'happy sleepy puppy time.' She grinned as she turned the page and remembered the look on her boyfriends face when Xander said it infront of him. Granted, all Oz did was raise an eyebrow and take a small step away from Xander, but still, from Oz, that's a lot. She noticed the werewolf stirring in his sleep and continued to read aloud. "He was sounding the deeps of his nature and the parts of his nature that were deeper than he, going back into the wombs of time. The rabbit could not..."

A low growl emanated from the unconscious werewolf.

Willow looked up from her book again and sighed. "Okay. Uh, maybe we should try a less stimulating passage."

A paw twitched as Oz began to chase bunnies in his sleep.

The redheaded Wicca flipped through several more pages of the book while Oz growled and started panting heavily, running faster.

"Private Harris reporting for Oz watch!"

Willow jumped out of the chair and glared menacingly at her best friend who had snuck up behind the chair. "Xander! Don't do that!"

Xander mouthed 'sorry' and walked past the chair to look at Oz. into the library, carrying a thermos and a couple of magazines, and looking pretty tired. He yawned and turned back to face the girl. "So whatcha got there?"

Willow sighed and showed him the cover as she walked over to the table to grab her things. "It's 'Call of the Wild.' Remember, we're supposed to read it for English Lit?"

Xander grinned and took out a small yellow pamphlet. "Yep, Cliff Notes."

Willow rolled her eyes and put the some notebooks and papers in her backpack. "Well some of us are reading it."

She looked over to where Oz was napping and walked over to Xander, holding the book. "Here, it'll help you stay awake and just might help you pass."

Xander pouted. Willow decided to use her 'Resolve Face' (r) to press the issue. "You will read it. It's good and, and very wolfy." She looked back at Oz again, smiling. "Seems to soothe the savage beast."

Xander grinned. He was happy for his oldest friend. "Things are good?"

Willow smiled sheepishly. "Very good."

Acting quickly, she took Xander's arm and led him away from the cage towards the table in the middle of the library. "Anyway, he really likes the story, except for the part about..."

She leaned forward and whispered. "...Rabbits."

A loud growl was heard from the cage.

Xander looked back to the cage and shook his head. "Rabbis?"

Willow rolled her eyes and made a bunny hand puppet with her middle and fore forefinger being the ears, hopping her hand up and down.

The dark-haired boy's face brightened with realization. "Oh rabbits."

Oz growled louder in his sleep, causing both teens to look back at the cage.

Willow shifted her backpack on her shoulder before starting to walk out. "It... seems to make him a little overexcited. Okay. Now, he's had his 2:00 feeding, and, uh, after sunrise, if he forgets where his clothes are, they're on top of the file cabinet in his cage. I have a blanket you can put up for privacy."

Xander smirked. "Hey, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty."

Willow raised both eyebrows.

The male Scooby decided some backtracking was in order. "I mean, not 'handle' handle, like 'hands to flesh' handle."

Willow decided to let that one go. "Ooookaaaay. Anyway, he's gonna be more a little unmanageable tonight and on the third night. Tomorrow night, the total full moon, that's when he's a real wolfer. But in case there's trouble... there won't be, but if..."

Xander nodded and held up the loaded tranquilizer gun that was lying on the table. "Sleepy time. Gotcha."

Willow nodded and began walking backwards out of the door. "Thanks again for doing this. I wouldn't have asked, but I have this test."

Xander grinned and put his things on the table "You can count on me. I got my coffee, magazines. Figured I'd read, maybe run the stairs over there a little bit. I'm good."

"Remember, you have to get out of here by 6, Giles doesn't know that we're using the weapons cage for Oz because the last cage kinda got destroyed and what Giles don't know don't hurt him."

Xander took out his small alarm clock. "Settin the alarm right now. Giles wont know a thing."

Willow reached the door but was still a little hesitant about leaving Xander guarding Oz. "Are you sure you can stay up all night?"

Xander nodded and looked back at Oz. "We'll be okay, right wolfie?"

Oz's response was a whimper.

Willow half backed out the door before looking back. "You sure?"

"GO WOMAN!"

After watching his friend leave, Xander grinned, slipping a Penthouse out from under one of his textbooks. He climbed up onto the table, setting the book down at one end and laid down on his back, using the book as a pillow. He smiled as he settled himself for a nice relaxing read. "Okay Oz, lets see what the women of today have to say... ahem, Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me..."

-----------

Xander woke up with the cliff notes covering his face, his alarm clock going off. He groaned and leaned over to turn it off. "Damn. I thought I reset that. Ugh, Oz, remind me to bring a sleeping bag or something next time."

He looked back to the cage to see Oz.

Or he would have seen Oz if he was still in the cage.

"Awww shit."

Xander quickly ran to the door and unlocked it. "Please please please please pleeeease be here."

Once open he ran in and looked around frantically, looking under tables, in bookshelves. "Not wolf you, not you you. Not Oz. you couldn't escape. The room was secured, the gate was locked, and the window unbreakable, and..." He looked up to see the moon shining in through the open window. "...open."

After realizing the full extent to which he had screwed up, Alexander Harris reached an epiphany.

"I'm so dead."

He quickly ran out of the cage, grabbed a sword, cross, holy water and stake from Giles' office and the tranq gun from the table. As he exited the library his possible last words echoed the halls.

"I'm so fucking dead."

--

As he ran down the street, he mentally prepared the conversations for which he would have to endure. "Willow, sorry I fell asleep and lost your boyfriend, but don't worry, I caught him in time before he ate someone." He reached an intersection and looked back and forth to make sure there were no cars to run him over before he caught his werewolf. "Oz does not eat people. It's more werewolf play. You know, I bat you around a little bit, like a cat toy. I have harmless, wolf fun. Is it Oz's fault, o-or my that, you know, as a side effect, people get cut to ribbons, and maybe then he'll take a little nibble."

A scream pierced the night air. "OH MY GOD!"

Xander spun around trying to pinpoint where it came from.

"HELP!!!"

Xander took off running. "Please be Oz. Please be Oz. Please..."

--

Johnny grinned as the little girl tried to claw her way out of his grip. Since his resurrection an hour ago the newly born vamp had felt the bloodlust boil in him. The little blond girl had simply been walking down the street when he had tackled her to the ground. Her scent was intoxicatingly sweet and innocent. He half considered...

A small tingling sensation started from the middle of his back. He looked down to see the point of a wooden stake sticking through his chest. "Hey..."

Xander looked down as the ash from the dusted vampire settled on the crying girl. He knelt down and checked to see if she was okay. "Hey sweetie, are you okay?"

The blonde girl, which couldn't have been more than six or seven years old continued crying and holding her stuffed bunny rabbit. "I want my mommy and daddy."

Xander tried to shush the child and pacify her. "Shh. Its okay." He took the bunny and helped her up to her feet. "Its okay sweeite," He wiped some of the dust off of her. "We'll find..."

"KAREN!!"

The girl quickly turned to see her mother and father running up to her. They took her up into their arms and made sure that she was okay.

"Angel honey, you could've been hurt. God we were so worried."

"Don't ever do that to Mommy and Daddy again. We could have lost you sweetie."

It was then that the parents looked up to see Xander standing there in his Hawaiian shirt holding a tranquilizer gun and a stake, along with their daughter's favorite bunny rabbit and had various bulges in his pockets. The father protectively took a step forward infront of his wife and child.

The teenager slung the tranq gun on its strap around his shoulder and held his hands out infront of him. I was just..."

Karen's sobs suddenly became audible. "The scary man tried to hurt me."

Xander frantically waved his hands around, the bunny flopping around in his left hand. "Wait nonononono..."

"NO! Not him daddy" Karen ran out and placed herself infront of Xander. "He saved me from the scary man."

Xander sighed with relief as the father's face quickly changed and he felt himself being crushed with hugs from the mother, father, and child. After a second they pulled back, the wife picked up the little girl in her arms and held her tight. The father held back his tears of joy as he tried to thank the man who had saved his precious daughter. "Well then, um, thank you for... um"

Although they were forever grateful, his wife couldn't help but ask. "What are you doing out looking like that?"

Xander looked dumbfounded as he stammered for an answer. "I, uh, am looking for, uh, my best friend's dog. I was watching it and fell asleep. It, it somehow got out and I need to find it before she kills me."

The father nodded. "Well, why do you need that gun for?"

"Uh, he's a little grumpy, see. And..."

Suddenly, a large gray werewolf turned the corner near them, chasing a cat in the opposite direction.

Xander took off running calling over his shoulder. "That's her dog! Gotta go!"

The little girl's father nodded, dumbfounded. "Yes I see."

The two parents stood there staring after the boy that saved their daughter's life and his...dog. After several seconds they had regained their composure and began to walk their child home. Karen smiled as she walked alongside her parents until she suddenly realized something. "Mr. Biggles is gone!"

The bunny in question flopped along, still being held by the unknowing Scooby as he ran after the renegade werewolf.

--

The wolf growled in anticipation as it backed the small orange feline into a corner. The tabby cat hissed and began stretching its back upwards to make it appear bigger. Granted the large canine/human hybrid was roughly fifty times larger, but the cat suddenly had inspiration and noticed a small hole in the chain-linked fence. The brave feline gathered up all of its courage and dashed through the small opening. The supernatural creature, who several hours ago had been tuning his guitar, whimpered at the loss of its prey and went off in search of something that wouldn't be able to sneak off.

--

Amy Madison was walking back to her father's apartment from the grocery store. She loved living with her father now. He doted over her and spoiled her rotten at times, and she relished every second of it. Looking down at the chocolate brownie mix in the bag she though about their annual 'rootin-tootin-brownie-bakeoff.' It wasn't until the loud roar came from behind her that she realized that because of her sweet tooth she might possibly die. She turned and ran, screaming louder than she thought possible as the large beast started to chase her.

The bags of groceries fell from her hands as she desperately ran for the closest door, only to find it was locked. She turned to see the creature bare its fangs and she swore she could hear the words 'pretty rabbit' under its breath.

"OZ! OZ! COME HERE BOY COMERE! COMERE!"

The two looked over to the left to see Xander waving his arms, calling Oz over to him, and holding out a small stuffed rabbit as incentive.

"WHO'S A GOOD BOY? DOES THE GOOD BOY OZ WANNA RABBIT?"

At the word 'rabbit' Oz snarled in anger and charged the boy holding the bunny. Xander quickly dropped the stuffed bunny and unslung his tranq rifle, carefully aiming it at the approaching werewolf. Once he was sure he could hit him, Xander pulled the trigger, letting the dart fly into the creature's shoulder. Unfortunately, even as the tranquilizers in the dart took effect, it couldn't stoop Oz's momentum and the werewolf slammed into Xander sending them both tumbling to the ground.

After a few second of pain and more importantly, making sure he wasn't dead, Xander pulled himself up and staggered over to the doorstep where Amy Madison had curled up into a little ball. He reached out with his hand to touch her shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

Amy slowly looked up into her savior's chocolate brown eyes and cried. "I-is it gone?"

Xander looked over his shoulder to where Oz had restarted his 'happy sleepy puppy time' in the middle of the street a couple yards away. "Um, yeah sure, it's gone."

Xander felt the wind nearly knocked out of him for the second time that night as his classmate jumped up and hugged him, squeezing hard enough to remind Xander that breathing was a bodily necessity. Gasp "Uh, Amy, a little air."

Amy quickly backed off, shyly smiling. "Oh, sorry." She looked down the street to see the creature laying prone, snoring contently. She squeaked and hid behind Xander. "ITS STILL OUT THERE!"

Xander quickly grabbed both his stake and the tranq gun and spun around, ready to meet any threat. After a second he turned his head. "Uh Aims, there's nothing out there."

She looked over his shoulder and quickly ducked back down. "Th-the thing, the werewolf or whatever it is."

Xander shrugged his shoulders and replied without even thinking about it. "That's just Oz. He's sleeping."

Amy looked down at the unconscious form prone on the street. "T-That's O-Oz?"

Xander grinned sheepishly as he tried to come up with something. "O-Oz? Oz who, what are you talking about?"

Amy stammered as she pointed to the werewolf. "Oz, y-you called it Oz."

Xander looked back at the supernatural creature and tried to think on his feet. "Yeah, h-his name is Oz. I named him that, that is his name. He is Oz...my, uh, my...dog."

"You named your large killer dog after Willow's boyfriend?"

Xander quickly interrupted her. "Yes! I, mean, n-yeah, that's right, why is there a law or something against that?"

Amy went on the defensive as she was verbally attacked. "Wh-what?"

Xander made grand gestures with his arms, bunny still in hand flopping about by the ears. "Yeah, I mean. Oz is a nice guy and Willow's boyfriend. I-I mean, he's the one that picked himself out at the pound, you know? So, so why shouldn't I name him after him? Is there something wrong with naming a dog, that could be considered a little overweight, and possibly have rabies after the musician boyfriend of your best friend that you've known since kindergarten huh?"

Amy's eyes had glared over by the time Xander was done with his explanation and simply nodded, not knowing how to counter his argument. "Y-yeah. I mean, n-no there's nothing wrong with that I guess."

Xander grinned, pleased that he had won this battle of wits. "Well then, if you'll excuse me..."

He walked over to the werewolf and grabbed it by the ankles, throwing the, until then, forgotten bunny rabbit on its chest. "I have to take him home, he's getting neutered tomorrow."

Amy simply nodded as she watched Xander slowly pull the werewolf down the street. "Yeah, I mean with the stray dog overpopulation 1 and everything."

Once the male Scooby and his...dog were out of sight, Amy started picking up the groceries that she had dropped and made a mental note to herself to start looking back into witchcraft just incase she had to deal with any more large unfixed killer canines on the loose.

--

As Xander dragged Oz back through downtown Sunnydale, he was a little happy that the summer lull between apocalypses extended a little into the school year. Not really a lot of vamps, and with Buffy AND Faith on dusting patrol (Neither of which, thank god, were patrolling that side of town at the moment) that made Sunnydale relatively safe to walk around at night.

Threats of werewolves and crazy armed men in Hawaiian shirts not-withstanding.

"What are you doing?"

Xander quickly dropped Oz's legs and held up the cross defensively incase of a vamp attack.

"Larry?"

"Xander?"

The Scooby member let the cross fall a little as he saw his classmate and sometimes bully dressed in what could best be described as a 'bad leather-biker needs a spankin' outfit hanging out infront of a dumpster apparently by himself in a dark alley.

A low husky voice came from behind the garbage bin. "Larry, who's your friend?"

Larry quickly looked back behind the dumpster. "Um, nobody, I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay, come back soon."

Larry shushed the dumpster and walked out to greet his classmate. "Xander what are you doing out here? Its late."

Xander looked down at the unconscious werewolf he was dragging by the ankles, back at the tranq gun her had slung over his shoulder, and the stuffed bunny sitting precariously on the chest of said unconscious werewolf before he stammered for a reply. "Ummm, nothing, just uh, taking the dog for a walk. What are you doing?"

The voice behind the dumpster snickered.

The football player squirmed under his friends gaze and crossed his arms across his chest. "Nothing, just uh taking out the trash."

Xander nodded. "Okay."

Larry nodded. "Okay."

Both teenagers nodded at each other several seconds before Larry broke the silence. "See ya later then."

Xander resumed dragging Oz back to the library. "Yeah, see ya later."

As he walked away, he shouted over his back. "Watch out for vamps!"

The voice behind the dumpster snickered and shouted back. "Vamps aint got nothing on us sweetie."

As he could hear Larry and whoever was behind the trash start arguing before the conversation turned to talk about pitching and catching, Xander tried to convince himself that they were talking about baseball before dragging Oz faster so he could let the two male consenting adults... do ... continue their ...whatever, he didn't really want to think about it.

--

Anyanka, the patron saint of scorned women, fumed as she stomped through one of the many forests of the Hellmouth. How could D'hoffran say that she was getting soft? Granted she let the man choose his fate of how she would punish him for sneaking around behind his wife's back. But the choice was between eating his own testicles and staying with his current spouse, which for this man might have been an equal trade. 'Damn that Frank Gifford.'

She decided to prove her devotion to man hating by severely eviscerating the next thing with a Y chromosome to cross her path.

--

Xander sighed and dropped Oz's legs to the ground. "Jesus Oz, lay of the freakin puppy chow."

He took a seat on the ground next to the transformed muscician and leaned against a tree. "Time for a break don't you think?"

Oz stirred, a paw twitching.

Xander nodded and took out a twinkie. "I agree."

Out of nowhere a female demon ran up to the two screaming, "DIE MALE SCUM!" before taking a look at the stuffed rabbit lying ontop of the prone werewolf.

"BUNNIES!!!!!!"

The demoness screamed, turning tail and fleeing back into the night.

Xander sighed, stood up, and walked back to the still unconscious Oz. He grabbed the werewolf's ankles and muttered under his breath. "Longest night of my life Oz. Longest freakin night."

The stuffed rabbit fell over into its side as the werewolf under it was being pulled.

--

Once Oz was back in the cage, locked, stocked, and ready for the night. Xander made sure the area was breach-less, even going so far as to try and move one of the bookshelves to cover the errant window.

Satisfied that no more werewolves were escaping for the night he laid back down on the table, placing the nearest magazine over his face so he could sleep better. The bunny fell to the floor.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Xander groaned and shoved the alarm off the table. A few seconds later he rolled over in his sleep and fell on top of the bunny.

"Longest freakin night."

--

Rupert Giles walked into the library promptly at 5:45 am. He had many things to prepare for that day in school.

One of the things he was not prepared for was to find one of his young charges naked in the weapons locker soundly asleep, while the other asleep on the floor holding a stuffed rabbit in one hand and a Penthouse magazine in the other.

Xander started mumbling in his sleep. "No Larry, I don't want to know who's behind the dumpster."

Giles turned around and walked out of the library, deciding to use up one of his sick days.

-

-

-

-

The End.


End file.
